A female cat or a male cat: that is the question! Shakespearean passions have raged for ages over whether to get a tom or a queen, a gentle girl or a macho boy.
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Time and again, people choose their pet’s sex based on deep-rooted stereotypes. Before you give yourself a final answer, let’s take a look at them.
Male Cats
The Cheshire Cat, Puss in Boots, the Cat in the Hat, Garfield, Tom from Tom and Jerry: most of the famous cats in books and cartoons are boys. That’s partly because male cats are credited with certain virtues.
Did you know that a “tomcat” can turn out to be a girl? Read our article on how to tell a male kitten from a female.
The virtues people credit male cats with include:
- Affection for home and owner
Many owners say male cats are more openly affectionate and clingy, while females are more independent. Research hasn’t settled the question, but it has shown that cats of both sexes know exactly who their people are. A University of Tokyo study found that cats recognize their owners’ voices, even if they don’t come running: subtle movements of their ears and heads show they hear perfectly well. Their natural independence just doesn’t always let them rush into our arms on cue.
Good to know: how to feed and care for a kitten.
- Impressive looks
Male cats are usually bigger and heavier than females, and many people think their broad heads and full cheeks make them more striking (please don’t throw slippers at us, cat-girl fans: that’s just a matter of taste!). Plus, many tomcats know it and love to show off their good looks to their owners and guests alike. Want to choose by size? Just compare weights: an adult male British Shorthair can weigh 12–17 lb, compared with a “mere” 9–12 lb for a female of the same breed.
- No surprise litters
Not much to say here: a male cat will never bring home a litter of kittens!
See also: How to identify your cat’s breed.
Female Cats
Girl cats have left their own mark on books and film: think of the elegant Duchess from The Aristocats, the watchful Mrs. Norris from Harry Potter and the famous Catwoman. Each of these characters shows the main thing: the cat that walks by herself!
But that’s not a female cat’s only virtue:
- Cleanliness
Experts agree that cats’ cleanliness comes from their hunting heritage: in nature, a predator lying in wait for its prey can’t afford a smell that would scare its next meal away. That doesn’t explain why female cats are often said to be especially fastidious about the litter box. Maybe they’re just ladies!
- Tenderness
Many female cats are real cuddle bugs that will get affection any way they can. They love being fussed over and happily accept it on your lap, in your arms, on your back and even on your head.
- Uniqueness
You’ll almost never meet a tortoiseshell or calico male. These colors are found almost only in females; the rare exceptions, tortoiseshell males, are usually sterile.
Chosen a sex? Pick a name: names for boy kittens or names for girl kittens.
- Motherhood
While tomcats fight each other over a female, females don’t fight over males. Their job is to carry, nurse and raise their kittens and send them out into the world. If you’re a registered breeder, a female is the natural choice. For everyone else, there are already far too many kittens looking for homes, so spaying is the responsible option.
It might seem that the choice between a male and a female is obvious. But don’t forget the hidden pitfalls. Let’s sum up the pros and cons of each, and it will become clearer which one to choose.
See also: What a kitten needs in its new home.
Pros and Cons of a Male Cat
Pro: No kittens.
Con: yowling “serenades” for female cats. For intact males, mating season doesn’t always follow the calendar, and it comes with not only loud caterwauling but also constant, very smelly urine spraying.
Pro: You can neuter a male cat and end the mating urge once and for all. Neutering is usually done at around 4–6 months, before spraying starts.
Con: neutered males tend to gain weight more easily, and male cats are more prone to urinary blockages, so keep an eye on their diet and water intake.
Pro: a strong attachment to home.
Con: a male cat may see the house as his personal territory and the people in it as his personal property. He likes to keep his humans under control, and since the house is his by default, he does what he wants: chewing your prize orchid one day and “decorating” the leather sofa with his claws the next.
Pro: many owners find males easygoing and quick to learn.
Con: intact males smell stronger, and so do their urine and feces. Neutering helps a lot.
Pros and Cons of a Female Cat
Pro: cleanliness.
Con: sneakiness. Unlike straightforward toms, some female cats show their character on the sly. One moment she’s purring under your hand, and the next she’s grabbing that hand with her claws just because, in her opinion, the petting went on too long.
Pro: females are often better hunters than males and catch mice more readily. Of course, that only matters if you live somewhere overrun with rodents. In that case, there’s no question who to choose: a girl, all the way!
Con: if a female isn’t spayed, going into heat throws her completely off balance. She may yowl for days, roll around, try to escape outdoors and lose her appetite, and heats can come back every few weeks. Spaying solves the problem and protects her health.
The Bottom Line
There’s no definitive answer to who’s more affectionate, a male or a female cat. To find out, you’d have to get one and run your own years-long experiment. Research shows that whether a cat is spayed or neutered, and how it was socialized as a kitten, matter much more for its personality than its sex.
You could keep this list going forever. But experience shows that people who choose a female kitten often end up with a swashbuckling pirate instead of a delicate creature, while a macho-looking male kitten grows into a timid scaredy-cat. It’s hard to predict how a kitten will turn out. But once you’ve chosen the sex, remember that you can avoid all those pitfalls if you take the right steps in time.
Male or female, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that they’re loved. Because when they give you their love, believe us, they don’t care whether you’re a boy or a girl either.
